My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Movie Title: My Bloody Valentine 3-D

Directed by: Patrick Lussier

Starring: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith

Movie Score: ☺

3-D Effects Score: ☺☺☺1/2

Overall Entertainment Score: ☺☺☺



This is a gimmick movie. There’s only one reason people want to see this movie: the special glasses. Without them, all that remains is truly horrific.

This is a throwback to campy 80’s style horror, but, man, is it lame. Tom (Ackles) returns to his hometown after a long absence. It just so happens that this coincides with the tenth anniversary of a massacre there. Now, all of the sudden, another string of murders break out, and Tom is the primary suspect.

The acting, story, and just about everything about My Bloody Valentine 3-D is terrible. However, the 3-D effects were nicely done. Everybody’s seen those cardboard glasses frames with one red and one blue plastic lens. Those are to the 3-D world what 8-track is to music. The new technology uses special glasses still, but the image is so much clearer.

Upon first putting the glasses on at the start of the movie, I thought the picture was blurry. It took a couple minutes for my eyes to adjust to the spectacle on the screen. Most people were expecting images to jump out them. But what it really does is give it a cool depth of field.

There are the jump out at you times though. At one point, the killer hammers a pick axe through a victim’s head from behind. An eyeball is skewered on the axe tip and pops off the screen at you. It was cheesy, almost laughably so, but it was pretty entertaining.

*Warning:* This film was the widest 3-D release of all time with about half of the just over 2,000 screens showing it like that. But that means the other half are in standard 2-D. The only reason to see this movie is because it’s in 3-D. Now, “3-D” is in the title and will be advertised as this in all locations, so be sure to call ahead to check if they have 3-D screenings.